He Could Never Understand
by formerly known as flame gazer
Summary: repost:Kakashi made a mistake, and he knew it. He made his, his everything, walk out the door of their home. Is there anyway for Iruka to take him back?
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing.

It's true, Iruka is a sensei at the academy, but nowadays, more often than not, he would be off on a mission. And Kakashi would be, justifiably, worried about his lover. He would go to the Hokage and keep demanding to know when Iruka would be back until she told him just to make him go away so that she could finish her sake or until she broke something with her freakish strength. But either way he always ended up knowing.

Then, when Iruka didn't show up on time, which was happening more often than when he started taking long missions, he would go back to the Hokage's office demanding to know either why Iruka wasn't back yet or where Iruka was so that Kakashi could go and get him himself. Kakashi would not sleep, would not eat, until Iruka came back.

When Iruka finally does get home, Kakashi is happy. Kakashi is elated. Kakashi is so obsessed with his boyfriend that it even scares Iruka a little (but he'd never admit that, even on pain of death).

He worried, and Iruka was grateful for that. After his parents were killed, there was no one there to care about him. But sometimes, his boyfriend went _a bit_ overboard.

A steaming bath would always be ready, and a scalding hot bowl of ramen from the Ichiraku Ramen Bar would be on the kitchen table. Iruka usually did not get the sleep that he craved on those nights, but would not complain about the sated feeling he would have as feel asleep with the coming of the dawn in Kakashi's arms. The heavy scent of sex still clinging to the sheets and their skin.

But this time, it was Kakashi on a mission. An S-class that was supposed to take around three months. In four days, Kakashi will have been gone for five.

Iruka was worried, and justifiably so, but he understood that these things could not be measured and formed to fit into any type of schedule.

He spoke with the Hokage, and received _some_ information regarding the whereabouts of the ANBU unit that Kakashi was attached to. He would get information regarding the number of deaths and the number of injured ninja in all units pertaining to that mission and any others in the area. This, of course, was to determine the amount of danger any leaf-nin would be in based upon the number and degree of assaults which have happened so far.

When Kakashi did get home, a bowl of scalding miso soup with eggplant would be on the kitchen table. A steaming bath would be ready, Iruka waiting in it.

But this time, Kakashi came home and no one was there. There was no miso soup with eggplant waiting for him on the kitchen table. There was no steaming hot bath ready so that he could ease his tired, sore, aching muscles. There was no Iruka to take the emptiness away.

When Iruka walked through the door an hour later, Kakashi was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for him, still dressed in the grimy uniform he had been wearing for -how many days?- he doesn't know anymore. His ANBU mask crooked up and off to the side. A puddle of blood slowly growing on the hardwood floor beneath his chair.

Iruka kneeled before him and started stripping Kakashi of his gear and clothes, trying to find the open wound so that Kakashi wouldn't bleed to death.

"What are you doing?" Kakashi's voice was flat, his eyes cold.

"I'm making sure that you don't bleed to death. Why the hell haven't you dressed these, or at least tried to make the bleeding stop?" Iruka missed the cold looks and the flat tone, all his attention focused on the deep gashes across Kakashi's left side that were left by either kunai or katana.

"Why weren't you here?"

"I just got back from the Hokage's office. I had to report on a mission I had just arrived from about two hours ago."

"Why did you go straight to the Hokage instead of writing out the report like the other chuunin do? Was it that important?"

Iruka paused in the wrapping of Kakashi's torso. He looked up at Kakashi with confusion written on his face because of the harsh, down right sarcastic tone that Kakashi had used against him.

"Are you trying to imply something Kakashi?" Iruka's voice held a steely edge that Kakashi had never heard before, but he ignored that warning sign and kept staring at Iruka in such a condescending manner that Iruka could feel the anger boiling in his veins.

"What are you really doing Iruka? Your name is never on the missions that you take. Hell, according to your file, you haven't been going on missions since you started teaching at the academy over eleven years ago. Where the fuck have you been going Iruka!" By this time, Kakashi was on his feet, yelling at Iruka who was still kneeling on the floor.

Iruka slowly stood and looked Kakashi in the eye. "That does not concern you." His tone giving no hint of any feeling, his demeanor screaming indifference.

"How the fuck does that not concern me?" Kakashi's anger spread over the room, tension invading and pressing in on their skin as if it were static electricity filling the air.

"There are things that go on in this village that you do not need to know."

Kakashi's glare tuned in to one of disgust, his voice lowed, dripping with annoyance, just trying to get a reaction out of the brunette. "If there were things like that in this village, you sure as hell wouldn't know about them. After all, you're just a fucking chuunin."

As soon as the words left Kakashi's mouth, he wished that he could take them back. His entire face fell, his lack of mask showed his mouth moving, trying to form words that just wouldn't come out.

"I see." He turned on his heel and strode towards the door, his back straight with pride and determination.

Kakashi took a step towards him, reaching out his hand to try and stop the love of his life from walking out of the door. "Please, 'Ruka-coi..."

Iruka stopped just short of the threshold, turning his head slightly to his left so that he could see his former lover with his peripheral vision. "Do not address me so informally, Hatake-sama."

His hand fell limply back to his side as all he could do was watch as his, his _everything_, walked out the door and silently closed it behind him. Iruka did not look back again, he didn't have to. He already knew that tears were hitting the floor of what was once their home.

The small "I'm sorry," was lost on the lonely house as it softly echoed down the corridors.


	2. Chapter 2

He Could Never Understand: Part II

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters with are in any way, shape or form dealing with the series.**

Tsunade has not exactly been _pleased_ with the behavior of one of the village's best jounin as of late.

Kakashi was just a mere shell of his former self now that he and Iruka were no longer together. He didn't smile anymore, he didn't laugh anymore. Hell, he didn't even try to come up with lame ass excuses when he was late. He didn't even pretend to read Icha-Icha Paradise anymore. He trained, but his heart was never in it.

He was gone. And worse, he knew it.

Many of the villagers felt sorry for the poor man as they all knew about the couple moving in together into Iruka's childhood home a little over two years ago. All of the villagers felt something akin to pity, all but Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Neji. Both of which held no compassion for the man, only hate, anger, and disgust.

About three weeks (three weeks, two days, seven hours, sixteen minutes, twenty-three seconds to Kakashi's ever counting mind) after Iruka left, Sakura visited Kakashi at the home that he used to share Iruka.

She was about to knock on the door, but it was already unlocked and partially opened.

When she pushed the door open enough so that she could walk in, the sight that greeted her had made her wish that she had just stayed at home that day.

Kakashi lay sprawled across the couch nearest the window sill where he used to sit with Iruka in his arms and watch the stars at night.

All he had on was a pair of sweat pants. His ever present mask… wasn't… _present._-

"I don't know what you did, but when Iruka gets back, you really need to speak with him."

Kakashi looked at her with unseeing eyes. "He won't forgive me. I'm not worthy of his forgiveness."

Sakura let out a small giggle as she sat on the edge of the couch by his ribs.

"He's more forgiving that you think and he _loves_ you. Nothing could change that, even if you are a bonehead sometimes. Just what did you do to him anyways?"

"I did the worse thing I think that I could possible do to him."

"I'm guessing that I don't want to know?"

"Something like that."

He sat there for a minute, his eyebrows furrowed; his eyes glistening from a new wave of tears that have yet to fall. "I can feel him, even though his isn't here. Every time I feel the gusts from the open window above our bed, every time I stare at the stars from our rooftop, I can hear him in the wind and he's near to me. I don't know where he is; I feel him so close but he's so far away. Every night I lay down to try to sleep and he'll still be on my mind."

Sakura looked down at her former sensei with pity in her eyes. She hated seeing him like this. She looked out the windows before closing them and drawing the curtains. She returned to her besides him and leaned over him so that her lips were just a hairs breadth from his ear. "Do you remember those healing jutsus it taught you a few years ago?" He gave a small nod. "Good. Now, there is a cabin seven miles west-southwest. Be there at precisely 2:30 am. Make sure you chakra is completely masked and untraceable. If not, you will be killed." He gave another small nod.

She stood and made her way to the door. Before she opened it, she looked at him over her shoulder. The seriousness in her gaze made him feel as if he were looking to _his_ superior, not the other way around. "You are not, in any situation, allowed to disclose where you have gotten this information. Not only is my job on the line here Kakashi, but so is my life. Please do not make me regret doing this."

With that, she turned and left the house. A small smile was tugging on the corners of her lips as she made her way down the street.

**O.o**

It was one o'clock in the afternoon and Kakashi was charged. Kakashi was energized. Kakashi was kicking the ass of each and every shinobi that happened to pass by his training area and thought that they could take him down a notch.

True, he had done nothing but mope around for the passed few weeks, but they had forgotten one very importing thing.

He was still Copy-nin Hatake Kakashi of the Sharingan Eye of the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

**O.o**

It was one o'clock in the afternoon and no matter what he did, he could never get rid of the stench of blood. He stood there in that freezing cold river. As the water rushed past him, it was tainted more and more as the red in the water became thicker and thicker.

There was blood. Oh god, there was so much blood.

It wasn't an assassination. Hell, it wasn't even a murder.

It was a fucking massacre, and he was the one that killed them all.

He scooped up more sand from the riverbed and continued to scrub his already raw skin. No matter what he did, he could still see the blood run in streamlets down his once white armor and fall onto the water.

But this day wasn't even close to being over yet. And he hated that fact.

**O.o**

It was only seconds 'til midnight, the was moon still hiding behind the rain laden clouds that were going to pour down its burden any moment and Hyuuga Neji was watching Uzumaki Naruto and their ANBU Captain easily avoid the jutsus that were thrown at then by the Wasureru. Their Captain was one of, if not the most, powerful shinobi in the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

But he would never get acknowledged for it.

He would never get the thanks.

'Panther' would, not him. If people knew who 'Panther' really was, they would not believe that someone they considered so weak could lead their nation in its fight for existence.

But something was wrong. The plan for the infiltration of the Wasureru headquarters was going smooth, but Neji knew that something was bound to go wrong. He could taste the bitter sting of uneasiness as it slid down his throat and into the pit of his stomach. Wasureru, a newly formed but very powerful terrorist group, was after Naruto. But unlike the Akatsuki, who wanted the Kyuubi, Wasureru just wanted the newly appointed Sixth dead.

And just as 'Panther' had gotten his hands on the scroll that was the whole purpose for the mission, Neji felt it. There was a chakra flair powerful enough that it had set of the chakra bombs that they had placed around the entire underground compound only minutes ago. Neji and Naruto escaped through the central ventilation shaft just as the level they were in had imploded, the levels above crashing down upon the levels below as the concrete walls buckled, no longer strong enough to handle the weight.

When they reached they surface, Naruto felt his heart lodge itself in his throat. Their Captain was still in there.

Neji had to hold back the Kyuubi holder as he tried to run back into the flames of the demolished compound.

The last thing Neji heard before another blast knocked both he and Naruto unconscious was the heart-wrenching scream that tore from Naruto's throat.

"_Iruka!"_


End file.
